I Got Nasty Hatemail Today… and Here’s What I Did

As I’ve been recovering from a small health crisis and feeling quite vulnerable and raw, I opened my inbox to find an email from “ANONYMOUS.” I can't even share it here because of the profanity, ugly cruelty, and the threats of bodily harm directed not only at me but at my family. While I'm willing to share almost anything if it helps someone, this hatred serves no one.

I will be the first to admit that I make mistakes; I tick people off at times because of my deep, human imperfections. Believe me, I am all too aware of my weaknesses, and I know my own flaws, both personally and professionally. You, and those closest to me, experience these flaws. So, when I read this email, that dart pierced right there for a moment…

And then I read it again.

All it did, frankly, was light a fire inside of me. How many people allow themselves to get shut down with one negative comment or review, much less something that threatens life, limb, and family? Who they threatened to send and what they threatened to do were unconscionable.

All I know is this. As authors, we are doing good in the world. We entertain, we inspire, we motivate, and… we can transform, if we polish our craft, no matter the genre. Most importantly, we have something to say. I repeat, we write because WE HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!

Humbly, I realize that I most often have something to say, not only because of my studies and experiences, but because I have learned from my friends and authors with incredible and jaw-dropping courage to overcome, to reveal truth, to spread love and illustrate a new way of thinking and being through stirring one soul, one story at a time.

After I got over the shock, I realized that although they made it sound personalized to me and even brutalized my name “Bridget Cook-B*tch”, this is a form letter mostly. I think it’s online trolls finding anyone with a book and seeing who they can shut down. I know this because they didn’t mention any of my books by name.

Why would someone do this? I don't know. Hurt people hurt people. Sometimes it's about anger. Sometimes it's about getting a reaction. Whatever the reason, I refuse to let someone else's darkness determine whether I continue writing. I have taught this at my retreats: Dave Ramsey, well-known financial guru, admits he gets hate mail. That floored me when he first revealed that in one of his books I was reading. I had to pause for a moment, knowing how much good he brings into the world. But then Dave says, “I know I’m touching a nerve that needs to be touched.”

How many of you are touching a nerve that needs to be touched? Probably every single one of you, in one form or another.

There is a quote that fits anytime we are faced with hatred, especially from unknown sources or those who keep “ANONYMOUS” but feel at liberty to say whatever they want, regardless of the ramifications.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” — Theodore Roosevelt

This was made even more famous by Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly. I can guarantee you she gets hatemail too, but does she let it stop her? NO.

Why am I sharing this? My fire, obviously. Instead of shutting down, I had to write something. Because But as of today, I’ve seen too many authors shut down because of one family member’s derision, one hateful comment on social media, one person’s snide remark at a party.

You have something to say. Do not be moved.

This isn't the first attempt to intimidate me, and it probably won't be the last. But each experience has reinforced the same lesson: fear only wins if we let it silence us. Yet just like with this hatemail, I know their motivation. It is to spread darkness… and a major part of my life’s purpose is to bring light into dark spaces, illuminate paths and bring pure love to an aching world. I know you have your own reason for writing.

Roosevelt's larger message in his full speech is that citizenship requires participation. The arena isn't about fame; it's about accepting the cost of contributing. Our answer is not to retreat, but to continue doing the work because it’s the work itself that matters.

Let’s promise each other that someone else’s cowardice or derision only makes us stronger. Let us promise each other:

WE WILL NOT BE MOVED, “ANONYMOUS”.

Keep writing. Tell the truth. Shine your light. The world has enough anonymous voices hiding in the dark. It needs more courageous ones not only willing to step into the arena, but simply be light in the world.

WE WILL NOT BE MOVED.

P. S. I woke up the next morning after I wrote this, and realized that when someone does something like this, they provide a window into their own soul. Someone said, “It shows you they cannot meet you at the level you stand, and that their presence is not where your peace belongs.” Wow. 

P.P.S  I said a heartfelt prayer… for “ANONYMOUS”.